5 Steps To Heal From Emotional Abuse

The message of emotional abuse is often “You never do anything right.”

Emotional injuries just like physical injuries take time to heal. 

Most of us have come across constant criticism, humiliation, intimidation, gaslighting, and isolation from others. It can occur in romantic relationships, familial connections, friendships or even in professional settings. 

Emotional abuse is often subtle and challenging to identify. Manipulating, controlling, or belittling another person’s emotions causes serious psychological harm and is damaging over time. Know that You Are Not Alone. 

Here are 5 steps that will help you heal and empower you:

Step 1: Recognize Abuse 

Identify and acknowledge the abuse. 

Most people go through life not knowing if they are being emotionally abused. Why? Because the abuse is quite subtle and insidious. 

Here are some signs that will help you recognize the abuse:

• Constant manipulations
• Gaslighting
• Belittling
• Controlling behavior

Reflect on your past relationships and try to find a repetitive pattern. That is your cue to identify a current unhealthy relationship leading to a path of abuse.

“Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their perceptions, and self-concept.”

If you want to get out of the repetitive emotional abuse cycle, you can book an appointment with me, HERE.

Step 2: Set Emotional Boundaries

Establish firm boundaries assertively and clearly. 

If you realize you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you need to set boundaries no matter how unfamiliar or frightening it may seem. You might fear repercussions or conflicts with the other person, but to reclaim a sense of self and take control of your life, you need to do it. 

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership and responsibility.”

So, express your needs and preferences directly and say no when necessary. 

Step 3: Become Self-Compassionate

Emotional abuse leaves you feeling:

• Inadequate
• Doubtful
• Shameful 
• Unworthy 

Self-compassion is an overused phrase. But valuable, as always. 

Focus on these three parts while practicing self-compassion:

• Self-kindness
• Common humanity 
• Mindfulness

We are all human, and we all go through our own share of suffering. The intensity and impact is different, of course. But the essence of suffering is universal. 

Step 4: Seek Support 

You might find a lot of people interested in listening to your story. But not everyone is as invested or values and respects your struggles. 

Hence, it becomes essential to choose support systems wisely, as not everyone may understand the nuance of emotional abuse or provide the needed support.

“Support is crucial in healing. It is often the bridge between isolation and connection, between self-hatred and self-love.”

Being in a group of people who have similar experiences will help you validate your experience and will provide a fresh perspective that may not be available elsewhere. 

As a therapist, I can assure you that taking therapy can provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to explore your emotions, heal from abuse wounds and develop skills to help you achieve your mental freedom. 

If you want to get out of the repetitive emotional abuse cycle, you can book an appointment with me, HERE. 

Step 5: Focus on Personal Growth

Personal growth can seem a far-fetched idea for most people who experience emotional abuse. 

But it is paramount to shatter the toxic dynamic and rediscover your sense of identity and worth. 

To achieve that, one needs to explore interests, passions and values that they neglected or suppressed during the abusive relationship. 

Healing takes time but you’re only gonna heal when you take that first step towards healing.